Tag Archives: surrogate

Chosen Ones … Part 1: We Were Chosen!!!

OMG!!! I got THE phone call on Tuesday … late afternoon … from a number I didn’t recognise. Mom had popped in as she was in the neighbourhood, so we were chatting idly, having the wine or coffee debate, when my phone rang. Glancing at the number, I assumed that it was an adoption enquiry for one of the kittens we have available for adoption, through the rescue organisation I’m part of. I didn’t recognize the number. For a brief moment I contemplated not answering and getting back to them later, but my inner voice said, “Answer the phone!!”. It was 4:45pm, Tues 17th September 2013.

Chantal’s voice was on the other end, our social worker’s assistant and right hand person, who’s mobile number I don’t have stored on my phone. Just a few nights before I had spoken with Wilna (our social worker) about getting our Police Clearance Certificate and Form 30 (a clearance to say you’re not registered as a child offender) from her for another adoption agency we were talking to so that we could broaden our search. I therefore automatically assumed it was about the forms … but it was THE phone call!!! The one telling us that we were put forward to a matched birth mom and SHE CHOSE US!!!! With my mind reeling I asked a bunch of questions about her and the birth father. Could this be true??? Could this be happening??? Chantal’s voice was filled with excitement on the other side of the phone, mirroring the excitement I was feeling. Next step a meeting with the birth mom … to be scheduled on Thursday, as she wanted to meet us.

When our conversation ended, I looked at my mom with disbelief and my heart pounding so loudly in my chest, that I thought I was going to faint. What we had been waiting for. Baby boy due soon … very soon … the details kind of buzzed around in my head senselessly. I had to tell LH!! Do I tell him over the phone? …. No I would tell him in person when I went to fetch him from the office … His car has been in for repair after a minor accident. The look on LH’s face when I told him was happiness, fear, excitement all in one. Everything I was feeling.

Thursday’s meeting with our birth mom was nothing I expected and oddly everything LH expected. Cape Town was being lashed with a real icy winter storm, as we drove through to Somerset West. Dashing out of the cold and the relentless rain into Wilna’s warm offices in anticipation of what was to come, we were terrified! What if the meeting didn’t go well? What if she didn’t like us?? After a chat with our social worker Wilna and Chantal, affirming our wishes, the moment had come to meet our birth mom. With the roads flooded, the meeting almost didn’t take place, but Chantal was determined to find a way. As our birth mom walked into the room and we said our hello’s, then she let out a nervous sigh as she eased herself into the chair and said “I’m terrified”, at which point we laughed nervously telling her we were just as terrified and the ice was broken. Here was a young lady, making the hardest and bravest decision of her life – that of entrusting us with her baby. With her belly protruding out in front of her, she bravely explained to us why she had chosen our profile and why she was making this decision. I sat there with complete admiration for her courage. My heart went out to her for the decision she is making because of her life circumstances. With no family support, an ex-boyfriend who shirks responsibility and want to distance himself from the situation, she is alone with only the support of social workers. It was a magical meeting where fear, laughter, tears, hope and love filled the room.

Our baby boy is due on 24th September 2013 … just 3 days from now … or any time now. We’re waiting for the call to tell us our Birth Mom is in labour.

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Where To … Part 9: Appreciation and Sharp Reminders

I’m married to the most remarkable man I know. You’re probably thinking “Duh … that’s why you married him!” … and yes whilst that’s true, at the time we got married, I can honestly say that I had absolutely no idea just how remarkable he was and would turn out to be. Lets not kid ourselves our relationship has been put to the test many times in the 3.5 years we’ve been married, with our journey to hopefully having a family of our own. On this note, I’d like to congratulate LH for making it to the summit of Kilimanjaro last month! Proud of you Babe!

As part of my voluntary work in animal welfare, a little 7 day old kitten (Johnny Bravo) entered our home last week Thu – rescued as an orphan from Khaylitsha (a poverty stricken township near Cape Town International airport). The last time I bottle fed and cared for an orphan this young was in November 2010 with our ‘twins’ who remained with us as “failed fosters” and are turning 3 in October. It was during those dark and desperate weeks and months following the loss of our beautiful daughter Stella that the ‘twins’ came into my life and literally saved me by giving me purpose – that of saving their lives.

Having Johnny Bravo in the house, is a reminder of how we would dearly love to have a family of our own, of how prepared we have been to take this next step in our lives for some time now and the anguish we feel of not being able to do so. LH generally tends to steer clear of the fosters that come and go, because he gets too emotionally invested and has difficulty letting go when they leave for their adoptive homes at 9 weeks of age or older. As the caretaker of our fosters, I’ve learnt to cope emotionally with saying goodbye, with the knowledge that we are able to help the next lot coming through our door. Recently I’ve been asked a number of times how many we’ve fostered up until now … I’ve yet to count, but I think it’s quite a number. So it was unusual to be able to photograph LH tenderly holding little Johnny Bravo whilst I was sorting out a hot water bottle for the little guy over the weekend. Little did I know the emotions that this photo would evoke within me … If LH, as a 6ft2inch man, can be so tender and loving with a tiny kitten that’s barely bigger than a mouse in his hands, just imagine how amazing he would be with a baby of our own. Knowing that I can never give LH the son or daughter he so desires really tears at my soul and is nothing short of excruciating. Being at the mercy of strangers in the hopes that one day we may have a baby is simply soul destroying, but we continue to live in hope.

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